Posted by Storytellers Writing Help

Sentient Being (#142426)


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Posted on
2022-06-28 18:31:55
Here is our main chat thread!
If you want to collaborate on lore, this is the thread for you!

Hello there, fellow Lioden Storytellers! To help one another with writing and lore, I've created this thread. You may also discuss much of this a bit in the main chat, but this thread is specifically for:

1. Lore-Building Help
2. Writing and Grammar Help
3. Idea Searches
4. Advice

If you have any part of your lore, writing, or stories that you need help with, here's the place to post! You can ask for advice on expanding or polishing your lore, and you can also share good writing advice that you've learned over time. I'll always respond to all of you, though I may take a few days. I hope that all of you will help and support one another as well!



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Edited on 11/07/22 @ 18:50:39 by Sentient Being (#142426)

Aj (#93329)

Ruthless
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Posted on
2022-07-01 14:11:52
Hey, I finally got around to giving a bio to one of my lionesses.

Sumatra

Mostly just looking for help on the flow. Is it awkward for it to funnel through basically three different formats? It starts off with a continuation of the second person story that leads out from the den page, and then into the kind of descriptive bio, and then the in character Q&A. I mostly haven't decided how I feel about the little Q&A section. I think it's kind of fun, but I just don't know if detracts from the entire bio, or if it compliments it. Anyone have any thoughts?

Oh, and don't mind the very bottom bit. Those are just some notes.

I'm not really looking for any lore building help or anything, but if anyone sees any spelling errors or thinks I used a word incorrectly, I'd love to know about it. Thanks!



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Sentient Being (#142426)


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Posted on
2022-07-03 11:35:03
Goodness, I sure took a long time getting to this! Sorry about that - I've been a bit under the weather, just watching a lot of movies. But I'm here now!

Okay, right off the bat, I really like the Q&A and I would keep it if I were you. It kinda makes me want to do the same thing with mine. It gives her a unique voice and helps us get to know her by relating simple facts about her day-to-day life. It also provides an opportunity for some images, which liven up the whole bio. The change from second person to third is fine, I don't see any problem with the flow. I did notice that you had the phrase "'Welcome stranger.' She says." This should actually be "'Welcome stranger,' she says," because it's a continuation of the sentence. Besides that, I didn't really notice any grammar or spelling errors. I think you did an excellent job on your bio, and in fact I'm gonna go spruce mine up now. You have inspired me :)



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Aj (#93329)

Ruthless
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Posted on
2022-07-03 20:50:17
Not a problem, I've been distracted by work the last few days anyway. Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Hope you're feeling better now.

Thanks. :) Glad the flow isn't awkward, and I'm happy the Q&A works. I'm kind of excited to come up with dumb reasons why each lioness likes a particular type of carcass the best. I've already finished a second bio, and now that I feel reassured the format works, I'll probably work on some others.
Glad I inspired you. :D I'll have to see what you come up with!



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