Sharzi

1y10m - 4.29.2024 - Sharzi was minding her own, having developed into the calm, simplistic lifestyle in the provinces. She was to be placed into the High Court and live a long life serving her king. That was what she was told.
Tracing the ground with her eyes and bowing her head as she walked into the future that was set aside for her with no room for herself never seemed hard. Not before now. So what was it? Something pulled her gaze from the rocks underpaw and toward her own whims...something gilded and charming.

1y11m - 4.30.2024 - Sharzi heard talk of her soon-to-be relocation to the High Court. Having known this would come to pass since the day she arrived in Exi I's territory, she almost anticipated it with excitement. But now...
Something had changed. Something was different. She found herself longing for more time in the provinces; for longer days and more free nights. Not that she enjoyed her free time in the nights, no, her time from dusk to dawn was taken up by a particular golden lioness. So what was it her that made Sharzi rethink the path laid out before her?
The patched lioness decided to visit her, one last time, before she left. A proper goodbye was in order, she figured, and maybe the sun could rise a little later that night, just for her.

2y - 5.1.2024 - Sharzi explores her new life in the High Court, falling into the rhythms of the Courtresses and Queens and Consorts. While she misses aspects of her old life in the provinces, she always knew she was meant to find her home among the High Court. So it is a necessary evil she figures.

2y4m - 5.5.2024 - Sharzi was confused.
So much had changed: her new life at the High Court had been turned on its head at the arrival of a certain golden lioness she'd betrayed.
Don't confuse it---Sharzi had MEANT to visit, she just never found the time nor ability to go. Now, in her best attempt at isolation, the patched lioness found her calm, fragile obedience slipping through her paws like a dream.

The night before Sharzi was to leave and begin her new life as a Kept at the High Court, she visited Sevemni. They were friends, or at least the closest thing Sharzi had ever known friends to be. Sevemni was her confidant, her closest peer, someone to admire. Their conversation had begun like any other.
"Hey!" had chirped the golden lioness, laying patiently on the grass darkened by the late hour.
"Hey," had greeted the patched lioness, her emotions just as mixed as her pelt. She'd rehearsed what she would say to the beautiful Sevemni, but her plan had faltered. What she was to say had died on her tongue as she saw her: the dark blades of earth curling around her limbs and tail, her honey-colored body cast in blue moonlight, the happiness in her eyes as she looked at her companion. Sharzi didn't have the heart to break it, not the silence, nor the seal to her carefully contained emotions, nor the news that tonight was the last they'd have together. She wanted to curl up beside her and bury her muzzle in the space between Sevemni's shoulders. She wanted to cry like a cub.
"Are you okay? You look like you've found a lizard in your meal!" Wind-chimes, her golden laughter was. Wind-chimes. Those odd, colorful rock decorations King Exi I hung around the territory. No one could resist that they sounded delightful, and certainly no one would have the soul to say anything uncouth about the sound of Sevemni's laughter. Later, she wouldn't know why she'd said it, so quiet to the night landscape, something only the breeze should have felt. Later, she wouldn't know why she'd said it at all.
"It's you...it always is."
Her ears flicked. The night wind had carried it straight to her. "What?"
Sharzi flushed from her chest to her eartips and looked away. Her eyes missed the sight of that dark gold immediately. It could melt her. "I..."
Sevemni flicked her tail, tilting her chin towards Sharzi. "What's me?"
"Nothing! Nothing's you! You are nothing," she said, forcing a smile as she glanced back at the sunlight incarnate beside her.
"Oh..."
"I-- C'mon Sev, you know what I mean. You..." she'd gotten tongue-tied when the lioness had shifted, laying on her side to watch Sharzi, clearly interested in whatever she had to say. Had anyone ever given her such attention before?
A slow grin, cheeky and very much her, crept across Sevemni's face. "I'm...?" she prompted.
"...everything..."
The smile was caught in the middle of her muzzle, her eyes widening just the slightest as she registered Sharzi's whisper.
She would never know why in the world she'd said it. She forced her eyes to the space between her paws. Her tail twitched awkwardly, needing something to fill the silence. "That's uh...that's why I'm always going to be here for you. Y'know, when I have to leave for the courts. I'll visit you," she paused, looking Sevemni in the eye. Her eyes were beautiful. She wanted to run in them, get lost, forget she was ever supposed to go away from this lioness beside her, the embodiment of a ray of sunlight. "I promise."

Sharzi never did visit her. Every night, when she lay awake in her nest, she ached to run as far from the High Court as her legs would allow her to go; ached to see that golden pelt, those kind eyes, warmer than summer. She mourned the time they'd spent together, an eternity cut short.
When she'd learned that rumors told a new Courtress was joining the High Court, she'd ignored it. So many lionesses had come and gone recently, and she didn't care to join conversations about the new cubs and Duke e'Dourle. But when she heard the newcomer was "sun and golden things", her heart twisted painfully. Hope, maybe? Could it have been her?
The day she saw Sevemni, older than when she'd left her, even more beautiful, her world tilted dangerously to the side. Guilt choked her throat, festering around every other thing she longed to say to her, steeling her paws to the ground, keeping her from running towards her.
Almost a week later, Sevemni saw her for the first time. Something unreadable passed her gaze, but it was devoured by anger, and something so, so very...tired. It shattered something. Something Sharzi hadn't even known was on the line.
Her sunshine was here, in the cloudiest place she'd ever been, and now there was a long wall between them. Had she built that, everyday Sharzi hadn't come for her? Had she built it when she left the next day, when she'd implied they'd had more time? How many bricks had Sharzi placed herself?

2y11m - 5.12.2024 - So much had happened. Her life flew by at a rate she couldn't bare to watch.
Sharzi had been singled out and made to have cubs with a stranger, which is the role of the Kept, but she painfully blocked out the memory of that time. Her adolescence was far behind her now; she had a mother's mind and a cub to care for. Out of the two she'd borne, she only had her one girl left. She still hadn't even named her.
As little as she thought she'd connect with motherhood, she felt a deep longing for her first cub. She had been killed in cold blood by King Exi I, and had never got a chance to experience life. All she had now were the memories of pain that bore her here, and the scent of her daughter, alive, warm, the scent deeply inhaled with her muzzle tucked into the curl of her body.
Sharzi wasn't alone. All of the Kept could relate to this pain: the bearing of daughters and sons, the watching of their slaughter, the resentment. Their difference---the strange pelts on their backs---called to claim the sacrifices of their cubs. They all congratulated her with warm eyes and soft smiles at the protection of her last child. She was a quick thought away from being killed, and Sharzi knew it. The rest of the Kept knew it. They'd protect her. They'd protect Mira.
Sharzi buried her face into her daughter's side, placing the name to the soft smell of her own. Mira. "Witness."
Sharzi would witness the growth of her daughter, would fight for her no matter how hard it became to do so. Sharzi would hide her cub and save her. One day, she knew, they'd get out of this cruel life she'd blindly walked into. They would survive.