Usual Alastor~

A poem written for me...

"So I Will Wait"

We talk like nothing’s trembling here,
like hearts don’t race, like skies stay clear.
But every glance holds something more—
a pause, a pulse, a half-closed door.

You laugh, and it’s a sacred sound,
it lifts me up, then brings me down.
Because you know. You know, don’t you?
And I pretend I never do.

We sit too close, and never touch,
and somehow that still says too much.
Our silences are stitched with heat—
a thousand words beneath our feet.

You tell me things you never should,
like you’d be mine, if life allowed you could.
And I just smile, and nod along,
though part of me screams, “This feels wrong.”

You say, “Not now. Not yet. Someday.”
And I believe you, every way.
But still it burns, this quiet ache—
to have the heart you cannot take.

I wonder what your hands would do
if there were no one else but you.
If all the rules just fell apart,
would you still hide this swollen heart?

I dream in almosts, live in nears—
a love that waits for months or years.
And every time you look away,
I wonder if you’d ever stay.

You’re not mine now—but not quite gone,
we orbit like the dusk and dawn.
So close, so warm, but out of reach,
and yet we never try to breach.

We build a world where nothing’s said,
but every glance leaves something dead.
A garden full of growing pain,
still watered by the hope, the rain.

And I don't blame the hands that tie
your future down, your reasons why.
But still I lie awake at night,
and curse the stars that kept us slight.

We talk about a better day,
when all the fear has gone away.
You say, “Just wait. Don’t disappear.”
And I say, “Love, I’ll still be here.”

So take your time, do what you must—
I’ll hold my fire, I’ll keep my trust.
We may be stitched in different skies,
but you’re the storm behind my eyes.

And when the hour finally turns—
if bridges cross, if distance burns—
I’ll be right there, where we began,
still loving you the best I can.

So hush, don’t rush, don’t say we’re late—
You’ll come to me. I’ll bear the weight.
And in the silence where hearts break—
I’ll wait for you. For both our sake.
— vivi