So recently a ton of stuff has been happening, like my grandpa having stage 4 cancer and the grandma that's married to him having cancer, and recently I got asked out by someone I love so much. but at the same time, I don't feel anything, lately, I haven't cared about my mom. Sometimes I feel alone, even though I'm not, my best friend seems to be avoiding me and I don't know what I did. I don't have time for myself anymore. heck, I basically just slept all day today. ate once drank something and back to sleep, I went. I haven't been able to take a shower for 3 days now, I'm just wearing a hoodie and some shorts. I don't even go to school, I just stay home. I don't even have a job. I just feel like I'm failing, and maybe that's why I'm scared of death. I don't even know what to do anymore, this is the first time I've fully cried in months. I always just find a distraction to distract me from anything but it's starting to not work. I've lost all motivation for anything, I don't do anything I'm just living a life that goes by so quickly and I don't know what I'm gonna do in the future. anyway, everyone have a nice day or night. I'm gonna go lay down some more.