does anybody know about this beside me?

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my older sister does

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oh has she done anything about it?

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no

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I rarely ever rant because no one ever asks about my life but-

It's hard getting an education; I can't ever go to a public school because I've been homeschooled all my life and have absolutely no credits to transfer, my parents are running out of money, so both of them are gone day in and day out, basically they can't school me either, so getting any chance of a high school diploma or anything else is completely left on my shoulders, I personally have to go search for a school and stress out about applying, rather than my parents giving me one.

also, my dad has bad childhood trauma, especially with his mother and stepfather, he hasn't come out but I do know he was abused as a child, and he takes anger out on me and my siblings, (in cause of his mother being a god awful person, he also hates women, yet decided to marry one and had all girls for kids) this causes my dad to say very alarming things to me and my siblings.

aka: calling me a whore for (I kid you not) giving my sister the last of the toilet paper, calling my little sister an emotional manipulator for not wanting to show him a bracelet she made, saying that he wonders 'why he had all girls', etc.

he also called me a bitch for pointing out the fact that he's never apologized for anything he's done, he said my twin wouldn't get anywhere in life because she wanted to leave the household as well, saying that he would abandon us at the side of the road whenever we were a bother.

these verbal attacks from my dad and temper tantrums have been going on ever since I was born, I hated every time I was around him alone because of his unpredictable nature, it wasn't until I became a teen that I couldn't take it anymore and I snapped back at him, saying awful things like I wished he was dead, or that he's failed me as a father, I eventually went to therapy because my dad's actions were giving me very defensive aggression, as repeating the verbal abuse my dad gave me would make him leave me alone, but I knew it wasn't healthy.

I also went to therapy because dad's words had been taking effect on me and made me turn to self-harm as a form of frustration.

I offered my dad therapy as well and he said he'd rather ''not have his mind changed'' so yeah-

My mom's currently divorcing him because I've told her about these behaviors, my dad is saying things like 'I don't want to lose my family, let's give this a second chance' and whatnot, I HATE that the only reason he stopped was that I finally told my mother about it and got her to speak to him, rather than him realizing that he was hurting ME and my sisters.

even now my dad has still been bullying me, verbally attacking me then finishing it off with ''now go tell that to your therapist'' or ''go rat to your mom then'' he makes me feel ashamed for speaking up about the stuff he says to me.

so yeah, my life sucks right now, I hope that things will get better though.

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Well he can go fuck himself because if he was a good dad he would be trying to help you and not breaking you down

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thanks, I needed to hear that

I love my mom for sticking with me in these times, and personally walking into my room to talk about my feelings, she at one point cried to me because she had never been allowed to make decisions before, not in childhood or in her own marriage, and I feel bad for her, forty years of her life following what other people wanted for her and only now is she standing up to my dad and choosing her kids.

tysm for understanding, kind stranger!

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Childhood trauma kicks us all in the nuts, there's nothing worse than hoping your problems magically correct themselves and then when you hit 40 you freak out as nothing has changed for you mentally or emotionally at all, which is when you can make things even worse by taking it out on others, like your loved ones …

I know it can be hard, but be nice to your dad. Cut him some slack, show him compassion, he needs it. You don't have to forgive him, but it is better for yourself if you can. This situation is ugly, but you can either make it unbearably worse or you can slowly turn things in the opposite direction.

I would take lots of time for yourself, read books go to parks or wherever makes you feel good, learn to breathe and take life slowly. You can get education you need, at any time in your life, please don't stress too much about this. If you find something you love to do you will pursue and thrive in it.

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Amen to that

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aweee :( i feel sorry, my mom and dad got a divorce when i was 4

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i'm sorry about that happing to you

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and, my dad thinks gays are weird, so...im kinda scared to come out to him

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oh so if you tell him what do you think he will tell you

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" GET OUT OF MY HOUSE ( its my moms? ) YOU WEIRDO

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Well he can say that but you can't let him decide who you are

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